Randomizing Sequences

My Faith in Humanity Has Been Restored

2010-05-10T16:07:00.000-07:00

Somehow, my luck is such that no matter what time I leave my house, I always get to the corner just as the bus is pulling away from the stop across a very busy street. Sometimes, it's 3 buses in a row that drive by that stop as I wait impatiently across the street for the light to change.

Today was just such a day, except this time, I decided to run to the next stop. I figured the bus would have a red at some point and hopefully I could make it to the stop two blocks down before it left. This would have been a very good plan had I not been (and continue to be) hopelessly out of shape. So, my luck being what it is, I arrived huffing and puffing at the next stop only to watch the bus pull away as I ran alongside it.

It was at this point, just when I was about to get all worked up over the bus schedule, buses, all forms of vehicular transportation, Henry Ford and the whole 20th century in general, an angel pulled up next to me in the service lane. An angel - disguised as a Pakistani car service driver. The car was a nondescript brown, 1980's...I don't know what, with no car service name or number. But the driver called out, "get in, I'll take you to the next stop!" I paused at first, uncertain as to whether I should indeed get into a car with a complete stranger. And maybe I shouldn't have. But it was ten to nine. Cold. Windy. So I did. And then he kidnapped me and took me back to Kabakazoomistan to be his wife, and I've been held prisoner ever since.
Sorry - nothing as exciting as all that. But he did drive me to the next stop where I was able to get on the bus and get to work at a not-so-late-after-all 9:04. So, Mr. Ugly Brown Car Service Car Driver, wherever you are, wherever your car service travels have taken you now - thank you!

Fugly, Fattening, Flattening Flats

2010-05-09T12:14:00.000-07:00

I do so hate flats
That's the truth, I'm afraid
I hate how they look
And I hate how they're made

I hate that in flats
I feel chubby and round
I look a good 10 pounds more
And I'm so close to the ground!

But the boots looked too wintery
After all, it is May
Yet it's too cold for sandals
Barely 60 today

So for lack of a better
in between kind of shoe
I'm stuck with the flats
And being a shrimpy five-two

Tribute to Shel Silverstein

2010-05-09T09:36:00.000-07:00

If your reaction to the title of this post was, "who the hell is Shel Silverstein??" then I'm sorry to say but you have had a very deprived childhood. Shel Silverstein was one of the most influential writers in my life. His poetry was quirky, funny and so perfect for kids. He was like a grown up, slightly more normal version of Dr. Seuss. I think it's safe to say that my (peculiar?) personality was shaped by Shel Silverstein poems such as the following:

I cannot go to school today, '
Said little Peggy Ann McKay.
'I have the measles and the mumps,
A gash, a rash and purple bumps.
My mouth is wet, my throat is dry,
I'm going blind in my right eye.
My tonsils are as big as rocks,
I've counted sixteen chicken pox
And there's one more-that's seventeen,
And don't you think my face looks green?
My leg is cut-my eyes are blue-
It might be instamatic flu.
I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,
I'm sure that my left leg is broke-
My hip hurts when I move my chin,
My belly button's caving in,
My back is wrenched, my ankle's sprained,
My 'pendix pains each time it rains.
My nose is cold, my toes are numb.
I have a sliver in my thumb.
My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,
I hardly whisper when I speak.
My tongue is filling up my mouth,
I think my hair is falling out.
My elbow's bent, my spine ain't straight,
My temperature is one-o-eight.
My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,
There is a hole inside my ear.
I have a hangnail, and my heart is-what?
What's that? What's that you say?
You say today is...Saturday?
G'bye, I'm going out to play! '
-Sick, by Shel Silverstein, courtesy of PoemHunter.com

or

"A genuine anteater,"
The pet man told me dad.
Turned out, it was an aunt eater,
And now my uncle's mad!
-The Anteater, by Shel Silverstein

Ah, dear Shel. How I wish I were 10 again.

Life & Work & the Incompatibility of the Two

2010-05-04T15:48:00.000-07:00

Sitting at my desk today, ignoring the teasing spring breeze floating through the window, made me realize how pointless work is. We work all day, every day so that we can have money to live. And yet, in the ultimate paradox, working to have enough money to live leaves us with so little time to actually live! We work to enjoy life for 2 days each week. What, I ask you, is the point of that? God created the world so that we can enjoy it, not so that we can hole ourselves up in our offices and come out only on weekends. There is something so wrong with society when NOT living is the acceptable way of living.

I propose we all give up our jobs. Barter for what we need. Keep moving. Live life. Enjoy life. Nuff said.

The Blah's

2010-05-02T17:42:00.000-07:00

Day in, day out
Both women & men
Work, eat, sleep
Just to do it again

Night turns to morning
And morning to night
Then back to morning again
With no end in sight

I call it the 'blah's'
That feeling I get
When nothing's quite wrong
But I still sit and fret

Fret about nothing
Just sit feeling blue
For no reason at all
Can't quite explain it to you

It'll pass in a bit
I guess it usually does
Till the next week or month
Month? Maybe that's what it was...

Guess Who's Back (back, back)

2010-05-01T23:23:00.000-07:00

I'm back! And better than ever. Long absence due to yours truly actually getting a life, but I've come to the conclusion that getting a life should not and will not prevent me from writing. How did I come to this epiphany? Well, my husband showed me an interesting article in the Reader's Digest. (I know, the Reader's Digest? But since that's among three lone pieces of written work that he actually takes the time to read, I smile and nod.)

Anyway, ever since I was a little girl, I've always had the strangest thoughts. Actually, it's not the thoughts themselves that are so strange as much as they way I think them. I'll be walking down the street and thinking to myself, 'She strolled down the street at a leisurely pace, stopping every now and then to admire the scenery.' Or, for example, right now I'm thinking, 'She sat at her computer, typing rapidly, giving little thought to how utterly ridiculous she might sound.' Now, when I first told my husband about this, he thought, quite understandably, that this was very odd. I never knew it was odd because I kind of thought everyone did this.

So, like I said, he showed me this article in the Reader's Digest, called 'Am I Nuts' or something to that effect, where people write in odd things that they do and a psychologist tells them if that's normal or if they should go seek mental help. One of the people wrote in that they do exactly the same thing I just described. The psychologist replied that this is perfectly normal. "One way people learn things is by rehearsing a scenario in their heads. Most of us do this in a visual way...You just happen to do it verbally, as do many novelists and poets."

Well, I was quite happy to be in such company, but it made me realize that it was hardly warranted if I never took the time to write anymore. Hence, this post, Yeah, hence! (Sorry, The House Bunny reference)

Anyway, the bottom line is that I'm starting up my blog again. So, all you imaginary readers - cheers!

I Can't Wait

2009-03-17T05:32:00.000-07:00

I can't wait to join the big girls at school
I can't wait to enter grade one
I can't wait to start 'departmental'
I can't wait till the school year is done

I can't wait to cross two-way streets on my own
I can't wait till my age has two digits
I can't wait to go to sleepaway camp
I can't wait for my parents to visit

I can't wait to finally start junior high
I can't wait to move up to grade eight
I can't wait to end elementary school
I can't wait till I graduate

I can't wait to start my first year of high school
I can't wait to finally learn how to drive
I can't wait till grade twelve when we're seniors
I can't wait to be free before five

I can't wait to receive my diploma
I can't wait to graduate
I can't wait to start college and my 'real' life
I can't wait to start to date

I can't wait to finish up my major
I can't wait to meet the right guy
I can't wait to get accepted to graduate school
I can't wait to get married in July

I can't wait to finally start working
I can't wait till I have a child
I can't wait till I finish my masters
I can't wait till my thesis's compiled

I can't wait for my child's one year birthday
I can't wait till he learns to walk
I can't wait till he's finally toilet trained
I can't wait till he learns to talk

I can't wait to buy our very first home
I can't wait for my son to start school
I can't wait till he stops making trouble
I can't wait till he listens to rules

I can't wait to get that coveted promotion
I can't wait for those teenage years to pass
I can't wait for my son to settle down with a nice girl
I can't wait to be a grandma at last

I can't wait to watch my grandchildren grow up
I can't wait for them to come visit me
I can't wait till my 65th birthday
I can't wait to retire peacefully

I can't wait to see my grandchildren marry
I can't wait till they have kids of their own
I can't wait to hold my first great grandson
I can't wait till those noisy kids go home

Tomorrow's my 120th birthday
I can't wait to blow out candles on that cake
I can't wait to enjoy all life's given me
I can't wait to wish it isn't too late

Getting Off The Roller Coaster

2009-03-04T02:59:00.000-08:00

It's a natural human tendency to 'react' to a given situation. When things go well, we're happy. When things don't go so well, we get upset, stressed, even depressed. And when things go well, then badly, then well again, we go on a wild roller coaster ride from happy to sad to happy again. This is unhealthy, destructive behavior. It's detrimental both to individuals and to the people around them.

When people react to a situation, in a way, they are giving up their free will. They are relinquishing the right to control their feelings and actions, giving external events that power instead. The conscious, rational being goes slack, and they become a passenger in their own life. When a person gets upset over even something as minor as a missed bus or a burnt dish, they are ceding control over their feelings to that event instead of consciously choosing how to respond. They become passive observers, allowing events to affect them instead of the other way around.

Nobody likes to be upset. Nobody wakes up in the morning and looks forward to being stressed. But events transpire and 'cause' us to get upset. We can't help it, we say. 'It's just so upsetting.' 'It' may indeed be upsetting, but who said that property of 'being upsetting' has to affect you? You did, when you let go of your emotions and surrendered the reins to this 'upsetting' situation.

Taking back control of your feelings is easier said than done. But look at it this way. You know that feeling you get when you've finally decided to diet and someone puts a huge chocolate souffle with hot fudge and vanilla ice cream right in front of you - and you don't eat it? It feels good, doesn't it? You feel in control. That's because you are. You didn't let the situation, ie: your hunger or your love of chocolate souffles, determine your response. You, the conscious, rational being, decided not to eat it.

Controlling your emotions is remarkably similar to controlling your eating habits. Try to equate 'becoming upset' with 'eating an entire tub of ice cream.' Your boss just yelled at you. You're about to get upset. But wait, you're on a diet. It takes effort but you CAN say no to that chocolate covered 'upset.' And just like that, you're back behind the wheel. At the end of the day, we can't control what happens to us. But we can control how we respond.

Child Brides

2009-03-03T12:17:00.000-08:00

My sister-in-law happened to mention in passing today that a girl in her seminary had just gotten engaged. I remember from my days at the same school that over the course of the year, from Sukkot through Pesach, 3 girls had gotten engaged and left school. I only have one question. Why would they do that? What were they thinking?

Let us first establish that I am a big fan of the institution of marriage. That said, however, I'm still not sure what possesses young, 18 year old girls, to rush to tie the knot. To make things simpler, let's disregard those girls who rush to get married the minute they step off the plane, or even those 18 year old brides who stayed home the year after high school. Let's narrow the focus of my question down to those 'seminary girls' who decide to get engaged during their seminary year.

These girls are living on their own for the first time. True, they have newfound responsibilities. They must shop for groceries, make dinner, make sure their apartment is clean. But they don't have to worry about paying the rent. They don't have to concern themselves with paying bills and making ends meet. They are able to spend an entire year, focusing on themselves, their goals and aspirations for the future, and just plain chilling out. They are able to think about who they are and what they want, and enjoy the freedom that comes with almost-adulthood. But they choose not to. Instead, they choose to give up that one transitional year and barrel, full on, into adulthood. And not just any kind of adulthood. Forget junior high, forget even freshman year, these girls catapult themselves directly into sophomore adulthood. So why? What's the rush? What is it in human nature that generates this constant impatience for the next stage in life? Or, in this case, the stage 3 steps ahead?

The Yes Man

2009-02-22T03:26:00.001-08:00

I had a huge amount of boring, repetitive work to do tonight that left just enough brain power available for an easy-watching movie. Nothing too complicated and nothing that necessitates watching too closely. For tonight's viewing, I chose 'The Yes Man.' If you haven't seen it, it's about a man, burned by divorce, who goes to a seminar that teaches the power of the word 'yes.' He becomes bound by oath say yes to anything he's asked, and suddenly finds himself really living life.

I found that concept really interesting. Setting aside the things we say 'no' to because they go against our convictions, how many things do we, ok fine, I, say no to just out of laziness? Or, besides for laziness, out of a reluctance to move out of my safe zone? Who knows what we could be missing out on? The more we live life, the more opportunities there are to experience things and learn from them. I think I'm going to start keeping track of interesting things that happen to me because I said yes. After all, I think there's a world of possibilities out there just waiting to hear a 'yes.'

My Love Affair

2009-02-19T00:41:00.000-08:00

I can't and won't apologize for it. Everyday, I come to appreciate you more and more. People may not understand our love, they may say it's unnatural; they may even say you don't deserve to be loved the way I love you. But I know the truth.

You're not perfect, of course. No one is. You have a mischevous streak that'll send me on a wild goose chase during a search, just for the fun of it. You'll often decide that you have better things to do and devote to me but the tiniest portion of your attention. At times, in your naivete, you will bring home all manner of riffraff and vagabonds, insisting they are your friends. Sometimes, I even wonder if you can keep a secret.

But you know everything there is to know. You are a glorious, multi-faceted being that can cater to any interest I might have. You gave me Delicious and Stumble Upon to help me and guide me through your deep, deep waters, and you gave me Google, that I may get lost in them. You gave me YouTube where I could laugh at people falling flat on their faces, and you gave me Facebook where I could show my friends just how insensitive I am. You provide me with endless shopping opportunites, that I may look my best, and you give me online banking to remind me to look, but not to touch. You give me email and instant messaging capabilities so that I never again need to hear another human's voice, and you give me 'read receipts' that I may know when I'm being ignored. You give me Mapquest, that I may find my way in the unfamiliar world outside my front door, and you give me FreshDirect, Target.com and Xbox Live, that I may never need to.

So despite your minor imperfections, my love for you endures.. I can, and do, spend hours in your loving embrace. I would be utterly lost without you. I am, always and forever, yours.

Everything That's Wrong With The World, Through The Eyes of The Soup

2009-02-16T23:12:00.000-08:00

I am a huge fan of the Soup. Besides for its inherent entertainment value, it also serves to highlight everything that is wrong with this world. And since my taste in TV shows tends to run more mainstream, watching the Soup is the only way I'd be able to appreciate just how messed up society has become.

As I've stated earlier, I'm a big fan of the concept of free will. In this democratic country that we live in, (or most of us anyway, because face it, the US is the center of the world) we have full control over the remote with the freedom to change the channel at will. I fully understand that no one is forcing me to watch these shows, as evidenced by the fact that I don't. But my mind objects to the mere thought of such shows even existing. Just the fact that it crossed someone's mind to create shows like this, and to think other people would enjoy watching it... kind've makes me think we deserve to be conquered and annhilated by invading aliens.

Bottom line, I think Paris Hilton's new bff should be Tila Tequila and when they get sick of each other, they can do a wife swap with the Bachelor and his current significant other. They can all fight over taking America's Next Top Dog to the salon to be tended to by the Groomer who Has It. And then when we get bored of that, we can turn back to Rock of Love and do it all over again. And then Flavor of Love and do it all over again. And then the Bachelorette and do it all over again. Oh, and then Tila Tequila should give America's Next Top Dog a Shot at Love...

Not-So-Common Things To Do In Israel

2009-02-16T22:59:00.000-08:00

I'm back after a long hiatus. With the in-laws and then the parents here, I've experienced just about everything there is to do while on vacation in Israel. Thankfully, some of the things we did were just obscure enough that I'd never done them before. And they were fun! So here is a list of not-so-common things to do in Israel.

The Dialogue in the Dark at the Children's Museum in Holon (http://www.childrensmuseum.org.il/)
This was one of the most interesting experiences I've ever had. For an hour and 15 minutes, you walk around in absolute darkness. There's no adjusting to the dark; it is total and complete. You are led by a blind guide who urges you to explore your surroundings and try to figure out what kind of environment you are in and what objects are present. Towards the end, the whole group sits down at a table in a cafeteria, still in the dark, to discuss their experiences and ask the guide any questions they might have.

Ir David's Segway Tour of Armon HaNatziv (http://www.cityofdavid.org.il/)
I enjoyed this so much with my mother-in-law that I went back a second time and took my parents with me. Segways are, without a doubt, one of the coolest inventions ever. The learning curve is extremely quick and you get the hang of it almost immediately. The tour takes you along the scenic pathways of the Peace Forest up to the three promenades from which you can experience the unsurpassed view of Jerusalem. The entire city is laid out in front of you and you can see to the far corners. This location is said to be the spot where Abraham was standing when, during his travel to Har HaMoriah from Be'er Sheva, he 'lifted his eyes and saw the place.'

Tour of the Old City with Simcha Hochbaum
I don't have his contact information on me but you can ask around (or email me) and I'm sure you'll be able to find it. Now, if you're anything like me, you're probably thinking, 'Another tour of the Old City? Been there, done that. Not interested.' Let me set your mind at ease. This is NOTHING like Old City tours you've done in the past. The tour didn't even enter the actual city till half-way in. I never realized there was so much to see just outside the walls of the Old City. About an hour and a half into the tour, we finally entered through the Lion's Gate and walked through to the Muslim Quarter. There we saw numerous yeshivot and synagogues in the heart of the Muslim Quarter, and even visited the apartment of a young Jewish couple living there. It was so inspiring to hear the stories of these modern day pioneers. But the highlight of the tour was when we walked through an obscure section of the Arab shuk and stood at the doors to the Temple Mount. Through those huge open doors, we saw the actual place where the Temple once stood.

Tour of the City of David (http://www.cityofdavid.org.il/)
This is a little long but a must for those fascinated by Jewish history. People tend to assume that the Old City of Jerusalem was the place where our ancestors lived since they entered the land. The fact that the City of David was the real Jerusalem for most of that period is usually overlooked. This tour gives you an in-depth look at the ancient city. It takes you past what is believed to have been King David's palace to the Gichon spring which was the city's main source of water in ancient times. The Jebusites, who lived in that area before its conquest by King David, had chiseled tunnels out of the mountain for the water to flow through, into the city. The tour guides you through these tunnels, which are now dry and explains some of the theories behind what you see. If you're feeling more adventurous, you can brave Hezekiah's tunnels which are pitch black and necessitate wading through thigh-deep water at some points.

The Smadar Cinema
Nestled away on Lloyd George, one of the numerous side streets off Emek Refaim, this 80 year old movie theater traces its history back to the British Mandate. It shows just two movies a day but it's worth a visit just to look around. On one wall there is a letter from the British government demanding an electricity payment for a specific amount of "Palestine pounds."

PLACES TO EAT

Non-Mehadrin
Buffalo Steakhouse Rabbanut Yerushalayim
Located on Emek Refaim, this is by far the best restaurant I've ever been too. Every single dish was prepared to perfection and served beautifully. They advertise themselves as mehadrin but, unfortunately, it's a bogus hashgacha as I found out later.

Mehadrin
Dan Hill Cafe
This cafe is brand new, only 2 months old as of the date of this post. It is located underneath the new Harmony Hotel, in a small, indoor boutique mall. The name of the street is Yoel Moshe Salomon Street, a slightly obscure street between Rechov Hillel and the main thoroughfare of Ben Yehuda. It is a large cafe with an indoor seating area, a semi-indoor seating area, which is in the main area of the mini-mall, and an outdoor seating area, situated directly on the street. The decor is modern, light and open, and the food, while typical cafe fare, had that extra something that pushed it over the border between mediocre and excellent. The ingredients were all fresh and of the highest quality, and it showed. An extremely friendly and helpful staff rounded off an overall enjoyable experience.

El Gaucho
No trip to Israel is complete without a trip to El Gaucho, an Argentinean steakhouse located at 129 Jabotinsky St in Ramat Gan. They have some interesting dishes and the food is quite good. The most interesting attraction is their 1 liter glasses which leave you feeling as though you're drinking out of a vase, rather than a glass.

Gong
Slightly more well known, this restaurant is located at 33 Rechov Yaffo. An Asian restaurant with Asian decor, it has a sushi menu and a more western menu as well. The menu is not very large but the dishes we sampled were, on the whole, very good. I recommend their sushi tempura and the salmon carpaccio.

And then of course, if you find yourself in Bet Shemesh for some reason, there's Aroma, an upscale coffee shop that serves huge sandwiches made with thick, deliciously fresh slices of bread. There could be other mehadrin Aroma cafes but this is the only one I know of.

Now, it's diet time.

What do you do all day?

2009-01-27T12:46:00.000-08:00

I find that I am constantly asked the question, 'But what do you do all day?' This is an understandable question since I went from working full time with a full time social life to being unemployed and living in a deadly boring suburb in the middle of nowheresville. So while I didn't intend for this blog to go into detail about my personal life, I feel that I should let the public know, once and for all, exactly what it is that occupies my days. And the next time anyone asks, I will merely recite the url for this post...which come to think of it, might not be all that much shorter. But anyway, here goes:

Wake up time varies between 8 am and... well, later. 8 am is my wake up time when I'm feeling proactive and energetic, which is roughly once every 2 to 3 months. Most other days I wake up 10, 11... one day I even stayed in bed till 1 pm, and even then it took an air raid siren to get me out of bed. Luckily for me, there's a bed in my safe room.

But don't think I sleep late out of laziness. No, there is a calculated logic to it. If I would wake up early, I would have to turn the dud on (in the winter) and then wait for the water to heat up, which would end up being just as late as if I'd sleep till the sun has been out for long enough to heat the water on its own. It makes perfect sense - to me, anyway.

Next, I go downstairs and no matter whether I happen to be dieting that day or not, breakfast is always pushed off until after I've had my internet fix. First comes e-mail, all 4 email addresses, then comes Facebook. Or, once and while, Facebook then email. Or sometimes even email, facebook, email... I don't really have a set schedule. My Facebook visit usually involves giving the home page a once over and then hitting the refresh button over and over again, willing something to change. Which it usually never does, considering that the rest of the world is fast asleep at that time. Mmm...sleep...

By this time, it's usually about noon and I contemplate going outside, maybe to the grocery store, maybe to the park. Inevitably though, I haven't bothered actually getting dressed, so it becomes a moot point.

So now comes the point in the day where I give my GMAT books a hostile glare, wondering why they have to be sitting on my desk, next to the computer, ruining perfectly good, relaxing computer time by provoking unwarranted pangs of guilt. Why should I feel guilty about wasting time online? I'm not taking the GMAT's for another 3 months...2 months... 4 weeks, with my parents here for 2 of those weeks...

You know what, let's not talk about the GMAT's ok?

Depending on the day of the week, it is then time to download last night's shows. Tuesdays we need to download Privileged, Wednesdays, Gossip Girl, Thursdays, Lost, and Fridays, Ugly Betty. Now, this needs to be done very carefully. The world is full of mean, vicious people who are out to get upstanding, hard working people like myself. This means I need to sit there, sifting through the pile of fakes, passwords and viruses, till I find the real show to download. See, watching tv IS work.

By this time, the day has started for folks overseas and various friend's screennames begin appearing on my buddylist, as they sign on first thing upon arriving at work. They work very hard.

The rest of the day passes quickly enough, chatting, refreshing and studiously avoiding looking at my GMAT book (damn peripheral vision!).

And then in the evenings, I relax. I unwind from a long stressful day, usually with a movie or a good book.

Offers of employment are more than welcome.

Anything America Does, Israel Can Do Stupider

2009-01-26T09:36:00.000-08:00

I would like to preface this post with the following disclaimer. I do not hate Israel. I think it is a lovely country with many excellent aspects. That said, however, I do think the bulk of its population, is made up of complete morons.

Example #1: The board members of large companies, in this case, Superbus

Israeli busses have always relied on a system of punch cards, whereby you hand your card to the bus driver, who reaches down, picks up his whole puncher, peers at your card trying to determine where exactly there is a free space to punch, and then finally punches a hole in it, all the while careening at breakneck speed along a windy road on the side of a dangerously steep cliff. But that's not even what I'm talking about.
Enter onto the scene, a new bus company, Superbus. The wave of the future, the new Superbus busses actually have something resembling a metrocard. Imagine that! 'Israel is finally catching up to the 21st century,' we all exclaimed.
I should have remembered my long-held opinion of the Israeli business model before getting all excited.

Let me explain to you how this new Superbus card works.
First of all, G-d forbid there should be card terminals where you can buy these cards, like the metrocard machines in the States. No, you have to go down to a Superbus office, during regular office hours (when most people are at work) and buy a card. And when I say 'buy a card,' I mean pay for the actual piece of plastic. Yup, you pay for the privilege of merely carrying these cards. But, that's not stupidity per se, that's just greed. Which is ok. After all, these new bus cards are going to change the face of Israeli bussing forever more. Busses will be safer, faster, and more efficient. Right? Wrong. Allow me to continue. So you load money on the card,(we'll leave out the technical details of acheiving that feat), you get on the bus... AND YOU HAND YOUR CARD TO THE BUS DRIVER. You're probably shaking your head and thinking you must have read that sentence wrong. Or maybe she mis-typed. (No, you Israeli board member- I typed it in caps on purpose.) Hand the card to the bus driver? Whatever for? Why can't you just swipe it?
Well, I'll tell you why. Because the bus driver must swipe it. Yup, he takes the card from you (just like he used to take the little punchy card), swipes it, and then waits for a little receipt to be printed that tells you how much money is on your card. And all this in twice as much time as it would have taken him to punch your card on the old busses. But this is progress - Israeli style. Need I say more?

"Because They Need Me."

2009-01-26T08:58:00.001-08:00

We bumped into an old friend of my husband's the other night. A former resident of New York, he had recently made aliyah and joined the Israeli army. Awestruck, I asked if he had been in Gaza, to which he replied in the affirmative.
This brought back memories of my seminary days, when my friends and I had always been overly impressed with the soldiers... especially if they were cute and our age. But, older and slightly wiser as I am now, I was impressed for a completely different reason. The young man told us that he had originally enlisted for six months but had just signed up for another two years. "Why?" I asked.
"Because they need me."
I was astonished by the sheer simplicity of his words. His country needs him and so he'll serve. No questions asked. No complaining that he'd rather get on with the rest of his life. This young man was going to dedicate two years of his prime, two years when most guys his age are finishing up college and starting new jobs, to protect his country. That, I thought, is the epitome of selflessness.

Badatz Bus

2009-01-21T06:34:00.000-08:00

I usually try to avoid putting myself in a situation where I'll need to take a Mehadrin bus. Touchy subject, those busses. While I most certainly am not going to condone such apartheid behavior by actually sitting in the back like they intend, I also would rather not offend anyone's delicate sensibilities by sitting in the front. So when the 418 pulls up to the bus stop, I suddenly become very busy with an important text message, some dirt on my skirt, or studying one of the numerous flyers that coat the walls of Israeli bus stops. (I acutally saw them putting those up once. Very cool, but that's a story for a different time.)

Anyway, a friend of mine happened to be on one of the Jerusalem intra-city Mehadrin busses recently. I don't know why she chose to ride this bus but I'm assuming it was the best option to take her where she was going. It was an accordion bus and relatively empty, so she sat down towards the back of the front section. Only a few minutes had passed when a teenage boy comes over to her and starts yelling at her to get up and move to the back. She diplomatically ignored him and stared out the window. He wouldn't relent, though. Every couple of minutes he would turn around tell her she shouldn't be sitting there.

Here she paused her story to remark that if this boy was so worried about seeing a woman on his side of the bus, his best option was probably not to keep turning around and talking to her. But that's neither here nor there.

Finally, she had enough of his constant harrassment, and, since her stop was coming up, got up and stood next to the door. Immediately, the teenage boy slid into her vacated spot.
Empty as the bus was, this puzzled my friend and she leaned over and asked the boy, lama ata lo yachol lashev sham, o sham, o sham? 'Why can't you sit there, or there?'

He didn't answer.

As the bus pulled up to her stop, she leaned over one more time. "You know, I'm pregnant and you just made me get up for you." And she promptly got off the bus.

Upon hearing this story, all I could say was, well done, friend. Well done.

2009-01-19T09:37:00.000-08:00

Eretz Nehederet is my new hero.

On Holidays, Vacation days and Plato

2009-01-19T06:36:00.000-08:00

Today is Martin Luther King day. A national holiday. While talking to my mom, she mentioned that she enjoys holidays so much more than regular vacation days. I told her that this is because holidays are like having store credit. It's already built in. Nothing to gain by not taking advantage. Taking a vacation day is like actually spending money to buy something. You have to think twice... maybe you'll save it for a different occasion. Unless, of course, you're a total spendthrift, spending money like water- or store credit. Then this simile would not apply to you. In fact, maybe I'm onto something here. Maybe there's a correlation between how quick people are to spend money and how often they take a vacation day... In-depth study to follow.

Another thing about holidays- they're so much better when you have a job. Unemployment is great, (except for the money issue- but that's just a minor technicality) but you don't get to experience the excitement that comes with having that one day off. I noticed something similar as I was getting into bed one night. As I pulled the covers over me and felt the cold of the stone room recede before the warmth of my blanket, I was struck by how nice it was to get warm. And, tired as I was, as I drifted off to sleep, I thought how very wonderful sleep is, especially when you're so tired. It seemed more profound at the time, probably due to the aforementioned tiredness. When I mentioned it to my husband, however, he pointed out that Plato already came to that conclusion a couple thousand years ago.

"Pure pleasure then is not the absence of pain, nor pure pain the absence of
pleasure; although most of the pleasures which reach the mind through the body
are reliefs of pain, and have not only their reactions when they depart, but
their anticipations before they come." Plato, The Republic

Came to that conlcusion and then refuted it, or so it seems from my brief Google search. But then again, what does Plato know?

The Wonderful Reality of the Work From Home Phenomenon

2009-01-18T01:25:00.000-08:00

Let me preface this by saying that I do not intend to rant.

That said, can anyone explain to me what exactly this 'work from home' business is all about? Or, to be more precise, this 'work from home' scamusiness? Ok, so I think I have just enough brain cells to figure out that if a company is asking me to pay THEM to hire me, they're either lame enough to think I'm actually that desperate... or they're lame enough to think I'm lame enough to actually believe that after I've been lame enough to hand my money over to them, they'll be lame enough to turn around and suddenly start giving me money. Which is just lame all around.

But what about those that advertise that they're legitimate. Which, in itself is slightly sketchy. You don't hear Macy's advertising that their a legitimate department store. But that's beside the point. I've been to company websites where the entire website is created for the jobseeker. In fact, the company claims to have been created with the sole purpose of providing jobs for people who want to work at home. I imagine their mission statement reads something like this: "This company's main goal is to provide jobs to people who would like to work at home. What kind of jobs? We are not sure. Where the money to pay them will come from, we're also not sure. What exactly does this company do? Why, we've already told you - we create jobs for people who want to work from home."

And then there are the transcription jobs - which, admittedly, actually sound like something that could feasibly be done from home. Yet, I've applied for those. After taking a test that resembles the English section on the SAT's, they send you an apologetic letter, stating that your command of the English language just isn't good enough for this kind of job. Now, I have this crazy idea in my head that I actually have a pretty good command of this wonderful language. And I did pretty darn well on the English section of the SAT's back in high school. But, I guess I must understand that this job does involve listening to an audio file and typing exactly what you hear, which, of course, only someone with a phD in English can possibly do. Oh, and salary requirements over $14 an hour will not be considered at this time.

Did I say I wasn't going to rant?

Mandatory Intro

2009-01-18T00:00:00.000-08:00

What would a blog be without the standard, 'I am creating a blog' introduction. To be completely honest, I've always been of the opinion that unless you are a complete genius with pearls of wisdom to share, without which the world at large would suffer tremendously and possibly be plunged back into the dark ages, or you lead a ridiculously exciting life involving snowball fights with panda bears in the arctic circle and diving for hidden treasures off the coast of Africa... I forgot the beginning of my sentence by now. Oh, right. So unless one belongs to either of the 2 categories above, I don't believe one should start a blog. Because, quite frankly, who cares? Nobody but you and possibly your closest friends are interested in your personal life and if you're blogging about news and politics... well, see sentence #2 for my opinion on that matter.

But I guess what it all boils down to is that the Internet is not a notebook or a file cabinet, and therefore, we don't have to worry about it running out of space when cluttered up with junk. People can add whatever content or not-content they'd like and if you, or me in this case, don't want to read it, no one's forcing it down your throat. So, on that note, I am throwing my blog out there into cyberspace to be read or not read at humanity's discretion.