It's a natural human tendency to 'react' to a given situation. When things go well, we're happy. When things don't go so well, we get upset, stressed, even depressed. And when things go well, then badly, then well again, we go on a wild roller coaster ride from happy to sad to happy again. This is unhealthy, destructive behavior. It's detrimental both to individuals and to the people around them.
When people react to a situation, in a way, they are giving up their free will. They are relinquishing the right to control their feelings and actions, giving external events that power instead. The conscious, rational being goes slack, and they become a passenger in their own life. When a person gets upset over even something as minor as a missed bus or a burnt dish, they are ceding control over their feelings to that event instead of consciously choosing how to respond. They become passive observers, allowing events to affect them instead of the other way around.
Nobody likes to be upset. Nobody wakes up in the morning and looks forward to being stressed. But events transpire and 'cause' us to get upset. We can't help it, we say. 'It's just so upsetting.' 'It' may indeed be upsetting, but who said that property of 'being upsetting' has to affect you? You did, when you let go of your emotions and surrendered the reins to this 'upsetting' situation.
Taking back control of your feelings is easier said than done. But look at it this way. You know that feeling you get when you've finally decided to diet and someone puts a huge chocolate souffle with hot fudge and vanilla ice cream right in front of you - and you don't eat it? It feels good, doesn't it? You feel in control. That's because you are. You didn't let the situation, ie: your hunger or your love of chocolate souffles, determine your response. You, the conscious, rational being, decided not to eat it.
Controlling your emotions is remarkably similar to controlling your eating habits. Try to equate 'becoming upset' with 'eating an entire tub of ice cream.' Your boss just yelled at you. You're about to get upset. But wait, you're on a diet. It takes effort but you CAN say no to that chocolate covered 'upset.' And just like that, you're back behind the wheel. At the end of the day, we can't control what happens to us. But we can control how we respond.
When people react to a situation, in a way, they are giving up their free will. They are relinquishing the right to control their feelings and actions, giving external events that power instead. The conscious, rational being goes slack, and they become a passenger in their own life. When a person gets upset over even something as minor as a missed bus or a burnt dish, they are ceding control over their feelings to that event instead of consciously choosing how to respond. They become passive observers, allowing events to affect them instead of the other way around.
Nobody likes to be upset. Nobody wakes up in the morning and looks forward to being stressed. But events transpire and 'cause' us to get upset. We can't help it, we say. 'It's just so upsetting.' 'It' may indeed be upsetting, but who said that property of 'being upsetting' has to affect you? You did, when you let go of your emotions and surrendered the reins to this 'upsetting' situation.
Taking back control of your feelings is easier said than done. But look at it this way. You know that feeling you get when you've finally decided to diet and someone puts a huge chocolate souffle with hot fudge and vanilla ice cream right in front of you - and you don't eat it? It feels good, doesn't it? You feel in control. That's because you are. You didn't let the situation, ie: your hunger or your love of chocolate souffles, determine your response. You, the conscious, rational being, decided not to eat it.
Controlling your emotions is remarkably similar to controlling your eating habits. Try to equate 'becoming upset' with 'eating an entire tub of ice cream.' Your boss just yelled at you. You're about to get upset. But wait, you're on a diet. It takes effort but you CAN say no to that chocolate covered 'upset.' And just like that, you're back behind the wheel. At the end of the day, we can't control what happens to us. But we can control how we respond.
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