Tribute to Shel Silverstein

If your reaction to the title of this post was, "who the hell is Shel Silverstein??" then I'm sorry to say but you have had a very deprived childhood. Shel Silverstein was one of the most influential writers in my life. His poetry was quirky, funny and so perfect for kids. He was like a grown up, slightly more normal version of Dr. Seuss.  I think it's safe to say that my (peculiar?) personality was shaped by Shel Silverstein poems such as the following:

I cannot go to school today, '
Said little Peggy Ann McKay.
'I have the measles and the mumps,
A gash, a rash and purple bumps.
My mouth is wet, my throat is dry,
I'm going blind in my right eye.
My tonsils are as big as rocks,
I've counted sixteen chicken pox
And there's one more-that's seventeen,
And don't you think my face looks green?
My leg is cut-my eyes are blue-
It might be instamatic flu.
I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,
I'm sure that my left leg is broke-
My hip hurts when I move my chin,
My belly button's caving in,
My back is wrenched, my ankle's sprained,
My 'pendix pains each time it rains.
My nose is cold, my toes are numb.
I have a sliver in my thumb.
My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,
I hardly whisper when I speak.
My tongue is filling up my mouth,
I think my hair is falling out.
My elbow's bent, my spine ain't straight,
My temperature is one-o-eight.
My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,
There is a hole inside my ear.
I have a hangnail, and my heart is-what?
What's that? What's that you say?
You say today is...Saturday?
G'bye, I'm going out to play! '
-Sick, by Shel Silverstein, courtesy of PoemHunter.com


or


"A genuine anteater,"
The pet man told me dad.
Turned out, it was an aunt eater,
And now my uncle's mad!
-The Anteater, by Shel Silverstein




Ah, dear Shel. How I wish I were 10 again.

Life & Work & the Incompatibility of the Two

Sitting at my desk today, ignoring the teasing spring breeze floating through the window, made me realize how pointless work is. We work all day, every day so that we can have money to live. And yet, in the ultimate paradox, working to have enough money to live leaves us with so little time to actually live! We work to enjoy life for 2 days each week. What, I ask you, is the point of that? God created the world so that we can enjoy it, not so that we can hole ourselves up in our offices and come out only on weekends. There is something so wrong with society when NOT living is the acceptable way of living.

I propose we all give up our jobs. Barter for what we need. Keep moving. Live life. Enjoy life. Nuff said.

The Blah's

Day in, day out
Both women & men
Work, eat, sleep
Just to do it again

Night turns to morning
And morning to night
Then back to morning again
With no end in sight

I call it the 'blah's'
That feeling I get
When nothing's quite wrong
But I still sit and fret

Fret about nothing
Just sit feeling blue
For no reason at all
Can't quite explain it to you

It'll pass in a bit
I guess it usually does
Till the next week or month
Month? Maybe that's what it was...

Guess Who's Back (back, back)

I'm back! And better than ever. Long absence due to yours truly actually getting a life, but I've come to the conclusion that getting a life should not and will not prevent me from writing. How did I come to this epiphany? Well, my husband showed me an interesting article in the Reader's Digest. (I know, the Reader's Digest? But since that's among three lone pieces of written work that he actually takes the time to read, I smile and nod.)

Anyway, ever since I was a little girl, I've always had the strangest thoughts. Actually, it's not the thoughts themselves that are so strange as much as they way I think them. I'll be walking down the street and thinking to myself, 'She strolled down the street at a leisurely pace, stopping every now and then to admire the scenery.' Or, for example, right now I'm thinking, 'She sat at her computer, typing rapidly, giving little thought to how utterly ridiculous she might sound.' Now, when I first told my husband about this, he thought, quite understandably, that this was very odd. I never knew it was odd because I kind of thought everyone did this.

So, like I said, he showed me this article in the Reader's Digest, called 'Am I Nuts' or something to that effect, where people write in odd things that they do and a psychologist tells them if that's normal or if they should go seek mental help. One of the people wrote in that they do exactly the same thing I just described. The psychologist replied that this is perfectly normal. "One way people learn things is by rehearsing a scenario in their heads. Most of us do this in a visual way...You just happen to do it verbally, as do many novelists and poets."

Well, I was quite happy to be in such company, but it made me realize that it was hardly warranted if I never took the time to write anymore. Hence, this post, Yeah, hence! (Sorry, The House Bunny reference)

Anyway, the bottom line is that I'm starting up my blog again. So, all you imaginary readers - cheers!

I Can't Wait

I can't wait to join the big girls at school
I can't wait to enter grade one
I can't wait to start 'departmental'
I can't wait till the school year is done

I can't wait to cross two-way streets on my own
I can't wait till my age has two digits
I can't wait to go to sleepaway camp
I can't wait for my parents to visit

I can't wait to finally start junior high
I can't wait to move up to grade eight
I can't wait to end elementary school
I can't wait till I graduate

I can't wait to start my first year of high school
I can't wait to finally learn how to drive
I can't wait till grade twelve when we're seniors
I can't wait to be free before five

I can't wait to receive my diploma
I can't wait to graduate
I can't wait to start college and my 'real' life
I can't wait to start to date

I can't wait to finish up my major
I can't wait to meet the right guy
I can't wait to get accepted to graduate school
I can't wait to get married in July

I can't wait to finally start working
I can't wait till I have a child
I can't wait till I finish my masters
I can't wait till my thesis's compiled

I can't wait for my child's one year birthday
I can't wait till he learns to walk
I can't wait till he's finally toilet trained
I can't wait till he learns to talk

I can't wait to buy our very first home
I can't wait for my son to start school
I can't wait till he stops making trouble
I can't wait till he listens to rules

I can't wait to get that coveted promotion
I can't wait for those teenage years to pass
I can't wait for my son to settle down with a nice girl
I can't wait to be a grandma at last

I can't wait to watch my grandchildren grow up
I can't wait for them to come visit me
I can't wait till my 65th birthday
I can't wait to retire peacefully

I can't wait to see my grandchildren marry
I can't wait till they have kids of their own
I can't wait to hold my first great grandson
I can't wait till those noisy kids go home

Tomorrow's my 120th birthday
I can't wait to blow out candles on that cake
I can't wait to enjoy all life's given me
I can't wait to wish it isn't too late

Getting Off The Roller Coaster

It's a natural human tendency to 'react' to a given situation. When things go well, we're happy. When things don't go so well, we get upset, stressed, even depressed. And when things go well, then badly, then well again, we go on a wild roller coaster ride from happy to sad to happy again. This is unhealthy, destructive behavior. It's detrimental both to individuals and to the people around them.

When people react to a situation, in a way, they are giving up their free will. They are relinquishing the right to control their feelings and actions, giving external events that power instead. The conscious, rational being goes slack, and they become a passenger in their own life. When a person gets upset over even something as minor as a missed bus or a burnt dish, they are ceding control over their feelings to that event instead of consciously choosing how to respond. They become passive observers, allowing events to affect them instead of the other way around.

Nobody likes to be upset. Nobody wakes up in the morning and looks forward to being stressed. But events transpire and 'cause' us to get upset. We can't help it, we say. 'It's just so upsetting.' 'It' may indeed be upsetting, but who said that property of 'being upsetting' has to affect you? You did, when you let go of your emotions and surrendered the reins to this 'upsetting' situation.

Taking back control of your feelings is easier said than done. But look at it this way. You know that feeling you get when you've finally decided to diet and someone puts a huge chocolate souffle with hot fudge and vanilla ice cream right in front of you - and you don't eat it? It feels good, doesn't it? You feel in control. That's because you are. You didn't let the situation, ie: your hunger or your love of chocolate souffles, determine your response. You, the conscious, rational being, decided not to eat it.

Controlling your emotions is remarkably similar to controlling your eating habits. Try to equate 'becoming upset' with 'eating an entire tub of ice cream.' Your boss just yelled at you. You're about to get upset. But wait, you're on a diet. It takes effort but you CAN say no to that chocolate covered 'upset.' And just like that, you're back behind the wheel. At the end of the day, we can't control what happens to us. But we can control how we respond.

Child Brides

My sister-in-law happened to mention in passing today that a girl in her seminary had just gotten engaged. I remember from my days at the same school that over the course of the year, from Sukkot through Pesach, 3 girls had gotten engaged and left school. I only have one question. Why would they do that? What were they thinking?

Let us first establish that I am a big fan of the institution of marriage. That said, however, I'm still not sure what possesses young, 18 year old girls, to rush to tie the knot. To make things simpler, let's disregard those girls who rush to get married the minute they step off the plane, or even those 18 year old brides who stayed home the year after high school. Let's narrow the focus of my question down to those 'seminary girls' who decide to get engaged during their seminary year.

These girls are living on their own for the first time. True, they have newfound responsibilities. They must shop for groceries, make dinner, make sure their apartment is clean. But they don't have to worry about paying the rent. They don't have to concern themselves with paying bills and making ends meet. They are able to spend an entire year, focusing on themselves, their goals and aspirations for the future, and just plain chilling out. They are able to think about who they are and what they want, and enjoy the freedom that comes with almost-adulthood. But they choose not to. Instead, they choose to give up that one transitional year and barrel, full on, into adulthood. And not just any kind of adulthood. Forget junior high, forget even freshman year, these girls catapult themselves directly into sophomore adulthood. So why? What's the rush? What is it in human nature that generates this constant impatience for the next stage in life? Or, in this case, the stage 3 steps ahead?